It’s power is undervalued, it’s meaning is interpreted many ways, and when it comes to implementing it- the choice ultimately lies with the beholder.
I’m talking about acceptance.
For me acceptance has ebbed and flowed into my awareness many times as a parent. Accepting that my son was going to be diagnosed with a life-long disability. Acceptance that he was vulnerable to toxins, some I willingly allowed and others I did not. Acceptance that he is who he is despite the label. And finally, acceptance that I was no longer going to accept that there was nothing I could do for him.
I want to share with you something I wrote nearly a year ago about my son. My level of acceptance at this point was tipping towards the fact that autism was with us for life, yet something inside me was gently nudging me to look deeper. Here’s is what I wrote:
You bring me light, you keep me focused on what matters, you inspire me to be better.
I sometimes don’t know how to handle my thoughts when I think about your future. So many things my mind worries about. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You wake every morning and face a handful of obstacles. Your body doesn’t always cooperate with you. You navigate a world where the language is foreign. You make strange noises. You bounce and climb. You don’t look people in the eyes very often. You don’t know how to socialize “the right way.”
You get called names. You get ignored. People think you are less than you are. But still, you shine bright.
You love. Unconditionally.
And for that reason alone I know your future will be bright.
And your light will shine for all those that can’t yet love unconditionally. For all those who are marginalized. For everyone, to be become better people. Unconditionally. ⠀⠀
Beautiful right? Yeah, I thought so too, and it truly is. This level of acceptance that I was in at the time swung me from being so angry and guilt ridden, to a point of neutrality. It allowed me to rest my mind and center my thoughts. I stayed here in this particular stage for a bit, but I eventually grew out of this level of acceptance and into a new one. One that was led by my intuition and powered by God. And that my dear is when the real state of acceptance set in…
I stopped looking for a reason why my son was diagnosed with autism. I started to focus on who my child was despite the autism label and searched for ways to connect with him. I stopped blaming myself and my husband for every wrong decision we made. I let go of the resentment I felt towards the diagnosis. I looked inward and relied on my faith. I filled my mind with knowledge about the diagnosis in a different way and searched for supports, treatments, and therapies that focused on what I felt was meaningful for my family- on my terms.
It’s ok to flow in and out of different phases of acceptance. Each stage brings with it a new level of awareness, a new stage of growth, a new realization of the power within you. So whatever stage you find yourself in today in this moment, just know that it may not be forever and trust that in time your own inner compass will most certainly lead the way.